Be Kind

My home has become a harbour where people dock down for a few hours of light conversation, tea and peace of mind. It has also become a place where people bare their souls... and I have been mindful of the energy that would create within my home. 
This past week alone I have had my loved ones and a few new friends take me into their confidence about their trials and darkest demons. What I learned left me empathetic for some and stricken with horror for others. Followed by restless nights with my own demons surfacing for hours on end. 

And so I ask myself if what i do is healthy for me, being the confidante of so many severed souls while fighting my own battles. And the answer i arrived at is, yes.

I don't do this because I have a saviour complex. Nor do I believe I have a solution for their problems. I do it simply to offer some relief to those who struggle. Talking it out helps sometimes. I realised that after I started therapy. The importance of expressing myself. 

What I have noticed is that all of them have one thing in common. They forget to be kind to themselves. They forget that they are only human, and therefore prone to mistakes. And they are incapable of forgiving themselves. Guilt is the ultimate burden to bear. I understand. Believe me. I do. But then, we live, we learn, don’t we? We are only human.

As for those who subconsciously blame themselves for what happened to them; things that were beyond your control or needed to be done, you didn’t invite the trauma into your life. Sometimes terrible things happen. Things that are beyond your control. So you bleed and you grieve. But holding onto that trauma will not help. Seek the proper treatment for what’s ailing you.  

Talking to a friend might provide some relief but it is only temporary. Communicate with a Psychiatrist, get a diagnosis and get started on your treatment. Be it pills or therapy or both. Only you know about your hysteria, sleep paralysis, paranoia, inability to control your emotions and the extent of it all. Try talking to Dr. Arif or Dr. Shanooha at IGMH (for appointments, call 3335245) and get a diagnosis.

I texted my former Therapist today, after a long time. As you know, she lives abroad now. I showed her photos of my place and she was so happy for me. When I thanked for helping me get here, she said I did it by myself and that she was happy that she was there at some point to help me. This woman doesn’t know that she saved my life. Really has no idea. Haha. 

Anyway, I hope you muster up the courage and strength to help yourself. And soon. And I hope you remember to be kind to yourself. Cheers.