"The pleasures of Heaven are with me & the pains of Hell are with me. The first i graft & increase upon myself, the latter i translate into a new tongue." ~ Walt Whitman

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Yesterday

Until what seemed like just yesterday, she had a significantly large circle of people around her. 

Friends, family ... people. People who understood and accepted her. People who cared. People who had stuck around for years and years. But today, when she woke up, she had no one.

Suddenly everyone seems to have conformed to what society deems the norm and no one has time for someone they cannot relate to or understand anymore. No one has the patience for tales of misfortune. No one finds any appeal in a broken doll.

Used to be that when life became overwhelming, she could sleep over at a friend's and find hilarity in the situation over home cooked pasta and movie marathons.

Used to be that she could smoke a pack of cigarettes and exhale the stress away but now her immune system worked against her, which swept the option of nicotine satisfaction back into the smoky depths of years past.

Used to be that she had a strong support system but she let the demon in her out far too much and for far too long that it scared them away with it's vile presence and corrosive nature.

And she lay in her cold bed and loathed her senseless existence and wondered for the umpteenth time ... what IS the point of it all?