Awakening

It's Friday & I'm sitting here on my swing thinking about how much my priorities have changed over the past year, how my mindset has shifted. I now desire little from life in order to be content. The notions of what true fulfillment are, notions I've harboured for decades, seem trivial & misguided now.

The past year has been a particularly brutal year for most of us. Losing loved ones, being deprived of simple pleasures, being trapped within the same four walls & some of us going completely broke. 2020 has certainly been a mofo, yes. But it has also taught me a lot. 

I've realised I don't need access to much material means in order to feel like I have it together. I've found that a simple roof over my head, warm food on my table & some clothes on my back are enough.  Books, my swing and the plants in my little garden are the luxuries I've earned for myself. Now if I could just see the sunset everyday, I wouldn't have any complaints. Hehe. 

I've always appreciated my people. Deeply. But over the past year, I've realised how crucial friendship & familial bonds are. These people will look after you & help you, regardless of whether you ask for it or not. Most people in my life are inherently generous & kind. I hope you are just as lucky.  

I've also realised I don't need to become what I thought I should be. The demands that had been weighing my shoulders down were not my own, but the society's. And all it did was make me feel empty.

I've learned to need & want less in life &  learned to be grateful for whatever I already have. To not regret what I lost & to let go of people & things that no longer align with the course I've set for myself. Not with resentment, but with acceptance. And the wish that they thrive, even if I'm not by their sides.

Most importantly, this year has taught me that I'd be much happier living somewhere remote & quiet, preferably surrounded by foliage and near the shore, doing something simple to make a living. Societal pressures are irrelevant in the grand scheme of things, really. Your mental, spiritual & physical health are what's really important.

If you can afford to, do what gives you peace. I plan to spend the rest of my life doing just that. But yes, obligations are a part of life. Let's hope I find a way to fulfill both. I hope you do too. 

P.S. This newfound clarity does not apply to food. When it comes to food, more is definitely more. 

Healing through Humility

Earlier this year, before the threat of Coronavirus reached our shores & disrupted the routine of our everyday lives, I suffered an inexplicable loss. I beat myself up for my own naivety & for causing the harm & grief that I did. It was a process & it took its toll on me... & it took its time. 
Until one day, I woke up & decided that I needed my life to change. That I needed to be grateful for what I still had. That I needed to organize my mind. But first, I knew I needed to declutter the mess around me. 

I'd heard of the KonMari method being effective. The concept is simple. Declutter your possessions. Discard what you don't value. Keep only what brings you joy. Adopt minimalism. Adapt to the concept, embrace it... & you shall find some ease within you for having cleared the chaos around you. 

Marie Kondo is a world renowned organizing consultant, author and tv show host who's method of tidying up your home & thereby simplifying your life, has gained her a large following. Including yours truly. 

I looked around my tiny home & decided there was a lot in it that I didn't really need. Furniture. Clothes. Books. Accessories. Knickknacks. Things that were reminders of what I had lost. Things that no longer "brought me joy".

I approached it by categories & separated what I didn't want/need from what made me feel good when I looked at it or touched it. There was a considerable pile on both sides. I sold/gave away/threw away the former & reorganized the latter. Category by category. Until what was left was only what I absolutely needed. 

And slowly, over the next few days, I was able to release the tension that had knotted up in my shoulders & my back for weeks. But I still had my mind to declutter, though.

So I decided to truly embrace the Japanese concept of Wabi-sabi. In simple terms, the view acknowledges three simple realities: "nothing lasts, nothing is finished & nothing is perfect." The acceptance of transience & imperfection. 

My favourite word has always been "Ephemeral" since the first time I came across it, many years ago. And since then, I have related to it on a spiritual level. Fleeting...short-lived...transitory. I recognised the truth of how ephemeral everything in life is from a very young age. 

I suppose that explains why I love Cherry Blossoms too. Sakura is symbolic of transience. The flower is breathtakingly beautiful when it blooms. But the blossom lasts for only a short while, falling within a fortnight. 

Accepting these realities has enabled within me a deep sense of gratitude. Gratitude for what I have & also the lessons I've learned from how I lost what I lost. I now accept, without resentment or bitterness, that the world owes me nothing, and that while I do have a wonderful support system, the only person who can truly help me, is me.

Do no harm. Be grateful. Embrace life as it is, however short-lived happiness is or how swiftly things change. And above all else, I have learned that whether it is giving to you or taking from you, the timing is always impeccable when it comes to the Universe.

I hope this helps 🙏